Planks and forgiveness and grace

I think I have been learning a lot about planks and forgiveness these days. And making mistakes and grace.

I axed three guys this week. That is a horribly bloody metaphor. But God has wanted me to do this for a veeeeerryyy long time. And I have been ignoring Him. And I have been wondering why I am unhappy. And I didn't actually kill them. (ha) I hate hate hate being lonely. But I would absolutely destroy a relationship...there is too much I have not come to terms with yet.

And to you who I have hurt in my learning process, I am sorry. I know I was wrong and should have let you know sooner, but...well, you know my justification. I am sorry. I wish you would call so I can apologize. I know it has to be in your time. God's time. This is where the grace comes in. Thank you for hugging me before you left on Sunday...I know you are not truly mad, just upset. And rightly so. I think my life would be much different if I had seen people hug after fighting when I was a child.

I pray for a man that does this. I hear they exist. And I have faith that there is one out there for me too.

And thank you dear friends who have not disowned me...I can be kind of a lot to handle. Sometimes I feel like a human explosion. But your patience with me reflects the non-judgmental love of Christ and I need that so much. You know who you are, and I am thankful :) It brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "I get by with a little help from my friends."

I saw this quote today: “Faith never knows where it is being led, but it knows and loves the One who is leading.” – Oswald Chambers

It's a good one.