Choices, Distractions and Affirmations

Yesterday I was given the opportunity to spend my summer in East Africa and round out the trip with a week in the UK. My sister also wants to go to Ireland for a bit. MOST AMAZING SUMMER EVER.

But is it practical? Is it real? And what about that ill-fated M-word? You know....*whispers* money? And what about my desire for going back to India next December as a leader for the RH Trip? Do I really just keep asking people for money? Is there some sort of protocol? Are there books written on this that I am missing? And what about just graduating?

I still need to apply to graduate. I should probably do that tonight. And then there is my Life Group. And I am very easily caught up in petty dramas when I need to be praying about BIG DECISIONS (see above). And then there is legitimate drama as well...it is all a distraction.

Through all of this my character has been steadily affirmed though. I know, it sounds weird to say, but people have been happy with my ability to explain things. Apparently I am good at this, but I want to be a writer, not a public speaker. Getting my thoughts in writing when there are so many...ay yie yie.

And then there are these red boots. I feel as though they symbolize something. And maybe I am missing the point, because I am keeping them.

Praise God for sour cream. I need to go eat.

Haiti

Twitter accounts from the area later would report that singing could be heard in the darkness.

Sing

I want to. Right NOW.

Watch this.

I used to be so cool.

(CLICK THIS --->) Gaston - Beauty and the Beast

In the line of ppl, I am the girl at the end on your left.

Unnoticed

Sometimes I wonder if people are as proud of people who don't make noticeable mistakes as they are of people who make big mistakes and repent. Where is the reward for the person with foresight and strict parents? Nothing against the people who make dramatic changes, praise God for them, but what about those who go unnoticed and whose morality is taken for granted?

What then.

Glimpse

It is not often I feel as though I experience the world as God intended it.

Last night, I did.

As Christians, I feel we spend a lot of time trying to convince ourselves that everything is okay. Or perhaps, this is just me. I sing worship songs at the top of my lungs, repeating to myself that "It is well with my soul." Confession: It is rarely "well" with my soul. Most of the time I just like the harmony and echo that is the girl part of the song. Strike me down, I said it.

I tend to dwell on negative things...I mean, look around, it's not like I have a lack of material for contemplation. But as I begin to recognize the source of my negativity, I have conversely begun to have eyes to see the goodness of God in the Right Here, Right Now. My new (inconsistent) ability to experience God in my present tense has a lot to do with letting Him surprise me. But as I learned in social dance class on Friday, I am HORRIBLE at letting someone else lead. I want to know what's going on, so I'm ready and won't fail (which is a whole other conversation).

A guy I follow on Twitter recently tweeted "Lower your expectations. It's the unexpected that you're expecting." (@rands) SO true. This all equals a big fat load of uncomfortable letting go. And honestly, just hoping and trusting God will show up.

Last night I went to a Tyrone Wells concert at the Hotel Cafe in LA with my friend Kim from my Life Group. Not only is it a sweet venue, but Tyrone was playing with Iain Archer, who was Irish and made me feel like I was in the movie Once, and Tony Luca who was apparently in the Mickey Mouse Club with Justin and Britney. The lead guitarist from Snow Patrol was there too and played a few songs with Iain. It was sweet.

I have seen Tyrone in concert before. It's always a good time. If you have never see him live, I highly suggest you go (ASAP, tickets keep going up in price! He is becoming sort of a big deal). Seeing Tyrone play this time was especially good for me at the stage of life I am in, where I am learning to have more faith that God is alive and present in other people.

Tyrone reminded me of very good things. To see a man passionate about what he does, passionate about the Lord, passionate about other people, and successful, is one of the most inspiring things to witness. And he's funny. (Go buy your tickets NOW, haha).

He ends every concert by singing a song he wrote called "When All is Said and Done", about how even though one day he might be rich and famous, when all is said and done it's our love for others and our relationship with God that matters. In truth, I have heard the song a few times. I have been to a handful of concerts, I have it on CD. It's a good song...but I've heard it...more than once. So towards the end, I saw it coming, and out of respect for a performer I knew I liked, I forced myself to pay attention. And for a few seconds it worked...until my mind inevitably wandered.

I was pulled back to reality when he stepped away from the mic, and kept singing. With the microphone no longer magnifying his voice, Tyrone trancended from performer to equal. I had never seen him do this before. In those moments, he was a man, singing his heart, to a room full of people, sharing what matters most to him. In those moments he shared the intimacy of a deep conversation about the state of the world and the reality of God. And I felt it. In those moments I knew that God is good, because God is alive in the hearts of other people.

The part I play in the reconciliation of the world is small, but I play a part. More importantly though, I am not alone.

What I Learned from the Sound of Music

I have often thought about starting a blog. I have been told I should blog. People ask me if I have a blog. I have conversations about blogging. I write blog posts in my head. I actually have a secret blog that I never told anyone about (see if you can find it!).

As a journalism major, you are automatically classified as a writer (duh). But that doesn't mean you're good. It just means you turn in the assignments.

I have never blogged and rarely write because of what I am afraid you'll think and of who you'll compare me to. Growing up in front of a mirror in ballet class sure did wonders for my psychological development.

So here is my disclaimer, probably more for me than for you: I know someone else has already done it better, but here is where I will learn. Here is where I will publicly learn. (Because that's not scary.) Learn about everything from myself to how to set up a beautiful blog site to how to find my voice as a writer. And I'll write about the things I learn throughout my day.

Such as: Coco Chanel was a Nazi sympathizer.

We are going to get so much smarter together. It's gonna be GREAT.

So without further adieu, it's time-- time to start at the very beginning, because from what I hear, it's the very best place to start.

Oh, and here is a video from last winter for your entertainment.



Ummm...and if it doesn't work, I'm sorry? Remember, I really have no idea what's going on here.

<3